Out of my comfort zone

The first question to answer is "Define Comfort Zone"...
my comfort zone is always my sweet little home, in my own small room, sleeping in my dad's lap. so, the moment i step out of my home, it is "out of my comfort zone". Is it a right way to define my comfort zone? truly, it is not.

i am trying hard to define the boundary of my comfort zone - leave the "comfort" part of it, atleast my zone. whenever i think that i have found my "zone" it is like seeing a distant light in the middle of a dark tunnel. when i feel that it is the light of hope - "comfort zone", it appears to be the light of a fast approaching train. All i do is duck and save myself momentarily ! how long can it go?

i am into the working community for eight years now; everytime i take up a new project, it only gives me the memory of what happened during my good old tech days. i take it up as a new learning experience, new scope for growth, new scope to analyze a 'business' scenario, new scope to come up with a better solutions for a known problem.

but then, the question arises. what is my unique selling property [USP]? whenever i finish my project, i walk out of the place with just my memory trails.

Last few days had been very hectic at work. I was coordinating with a partner vendor to setup some software. There were a lot of miscommunications between what we wanted and what they can do. Everytime it was like a battle. I was defending arguments, in which the credibility of the 60,000+ employees of my company was questioned...Sometimes, it was so embarassing that the customer is always right - Are we doing justice for the amount of money he is spending? he wants his job done with the right kind of person. we are juggling with the existing resources to meet his requirements leading to such an awkward situation - both to the customer and to ourself.

May be i am hard on myself. I am expecting a lot of perfection from myself. I get mixed up between my 'head' and 'heart'. i feel ashamed for not fulfilling the expectations of my managers, my seniors...i am not setting a 'role model' myself.

is this what happens when you step out of your comfort zone? is it the same feeling anyone has to go through if they wanted to face the challenge?

there was a lecture on 'Knowledge - Skills - Attitude'. Right kind of attitude will get you anywhere you want to go. it will help you to acquire the necessary knowledge and skills, true. but, at times, one should also have to have the attitude to say 'NO' for something that is not in his scope.

why would a OS/390 obsessed, keen to grow as a S390 system programmer, had an opportunity to become a solution architect for J2EE project? why did a S390 assembly language aspirant, land in doing function point analysis for a large project in some part of Africa? Are these the 'scope' for further improvement or the 'force' of hindering the growth path? Only time can answer!!!

...bright