When breath becomes air - Dr. Paul Kalanidhi

“When breath becomes air” by Late. Dr. Paul Kalanidhi is a good read. A very intense subject, about handling death, being a doctor and knowing his end. There were a few pages when I could not read beyond, and tears that I could not control.

When a life is formed, it comes with a certain end date. Every year, month, week, day, hour, minute, second - there is a choice to make: it can be seen as living or getting closer to death. Knowing that death is inevitable, the choice is clear: To Live. 

From the first thing in the morning - the wake up alarm - we make conscious or unconscious decisions. For most part, it is for our own benefit and rarely on behalf of someone else. Either way, the decisions are driven towards our lifestyle - we never have to make a choice between life and death - at least, not in my work. 

This book gave a striking realization of what it is to make a life determining decision every single day. The decision and an action, as a neurosurgeon, can change the life of not just an individual but the dream for an entire family / generation. 

It also taught me how to approach a problem - is it finding the solution to the problem and tick the checkbox in my ToDo list or trying to understand the “person” side of the problem and fix it.

There is a right frame of mind that I found very helpful:

• What is important to me?

• Will my actions bring meaning to my life?

• Have I made the right choice?

This framework is the biggest take away for me. This will drive the value that we live for and make our living better.

A good read, highly recommended.

Etharkum Thuninthavan

Watched Suriya’s latest movie: Etharkum Thuninthavan. Realized that it was based on the Pollachi incident that rocked Tamil Nadu in the recent past. It was like an awareness movie with the introduction of the TN police supported app “Kaavalan SOS”. It is a must-have app for everyone with a smartphone. In fact, there will be a statement in the movie that this app is more important than facebook and instagram. Very true.

There are disturbing incidents in the movie that were read in newspapers. It is also a reminder to all parents that everyone is responsible for a better society, better life, better safety for everyone. 

When the family setup moved away from joint family to neutral family, the number of children in a family also became very limited (1 or 2 at the max). With more walls drawn between families, the disadvantage is the missed opportunity of understanding the opposite gender - not realizing that they have the same emotions (both positive and negative) as I do. In such a situation, it becomes more responsible to teach our kids - boy or girl - to treat everyone in the same way that they want to be treated by others. 

It is also important that there is a family bonding and the children are given an opportunity to let their voices be heard - not just by the peers but by the elders, their parents, to help them go through the toughest transition part of their life - adolescence. Together, I still believe we can make a better society for our generation and the future generations as well.

The previous post on the Pollachi incident can be found here.

 

What’s up, WhatsApp

WhatsApp has the flexibility of creating many groups. All the set theory and Venn diagram that was learned in the high school mathematics can be effectively put in practice while creating these WhatsApp groups. a,b,c will form a group; it will branch out into few optional subgroups of a&b, a&c, b&c. This is just an exaggerated example but, it is possible. The objective of this is to improve communication and collaboration. Unfortunately the truth is that these groups end up being a group of strangers, without providing an opportunity to establish trust and attachment. 

When an individual from the group is reached out for personal connect, it leads to a sense of doubt than friendship. The very first message “hello, how are you?” strikes an alert and puts the other person in defensive mode. Where are you? seems to be a scary question. The response is why do you ask? Why did you message me in private? and so on. It was little awkward situation to explain that I was part of the other group and just trying to establish a connection with the other person. 

I am from the age, when the common mode of communication is to write letter. After posting the letter, it takes about 2 to 3 days for the letter to reach the addresses. They will take a day to two to write a response. It will take another 2 to 3 days to get the letter and read their response. It took 5 - 7 days, to have two way communication. The family bonding was great and it felt close to people (the personal touch of the handwritten notes) than it is now when with the instant messaging advancement. Then, we were far but close; Now, we appear to be close but separated by layers of walls in between.

What do you think? Please comment.